Some spirit practices in my Medicine pouch.......

In my previous post I alluded to the deepening of spiritual practices that has accompanied the recent reductions of a psych med. So, in this one I felt to go into that a bit, with the acknowledgement that the tapering and its accompanying restlessness can make it difficult to focus on some of these practices at times. I engage to the best of my abilities with what I got on any given day.

I don't work with a lot of complex rituals, however the medicine pouch of ones I do engage with are pretty important to me. I would like to acknowledge one of my mentors Odette (see Resources) who has supported me in finding my path with her earthy, safe and open minded ways.

My support crew in spirit are my Spirit Kin. A group of power animals who travel with me in all realms. Since a child I have held strong relationships with the animals, around me and this aspect of my spirituality is an extension of that. They offer comfort, guidance and have my back. One of them approached me as an ally in a nightmare, one amidst daily reality and one journeying in non-ordinary reality. Some have come for a time and teachings then moved on, but this core group remain. Connecting with them offers me deep nourishment.

On a day to day or weekly basis I've learned that I need some practices to be the equivalent of psychic showers, or the ocean dips I replace them with. This includes:

Cutting 'cords' ( a manifestation of the energetic 'ties that bind' but which absorb the crud from these links) from my body. Connected to people, the collective, and situations, the cutting of which doesn't mean a desire to sever or break off relationship (although it can where needed), but does allow for a kind of fresh start afterwards.

Clearing my aura of debris gathered in daily interactions (just as dust collects on furniture, or grease near the hearth fire), negative thought forms (the days stagnant, dead end or tape loop thought processes), and also entities or wayward souls. All of which, I find, can take on the form of archetypal beings. I find there's a strong 'trickster' like approach coming from them. They manifest in this type of form, or dialogue, with me repeatedly. It requires of me to maintain an alertness and sense of humor (I sometimes find in short supply), determination and firm boundaries, whilst assisting them to move on. When asked 'who are you really?' there's a tendency to shape shift, which lets me know, like the trickster in many cultures, whilst beguiling at times, these beings are not my friends. Teachers yes, friends no. 

I am a very visual person, so I use a lot of (and receive information from spirit through) imagery, accompanied by feelings. For example when 'cutting cords' I see my body hovering above a light filled Cauldron (despite the fact that I'm usually lying down) who's inclined to give me a thumbs up, as a rather enthusiastic Sword slices his way through the black sludge like cords, which drop into the Cauldron and are there transformed with accompanying boiling and bubbling.

When I 'Journey' or 'Hedge Ride' it's a very visual experience for me, accompanied by sounds and emotions. I see with my inner eye the landscapes and beings I meet, in the Otherworlds, and when I do so I know things are flowing. I create sacred space and ask my Spirit Kin to be with me. Then to begin a Journey, I play pretty repetitive music, to distract that ol left hand side of the brain, and that seems enough to get me going. I don't use hallucinogens, as I'm bent towards such tendencies already by nature, and knowing my sensitivities am likely to get freaky on them. With some plants, proximity is enough, for me. For example, we have Datura and Peyote growing in our garden but you wouldn't catch me imbibing either, oooohh nooo. I believe all plants are working with us spiritually and have teachings to share, so there's plenty for me to learn without blowing a fuse. I'm running low already! 

That being said, I do have an affinity with Artemisia's. I care for and perform prayers with a Sioux pipe which you 'smoke' without inhaling. The smoke serves to carry your prayers to the sky and Great Spirit. I work with dried Artemisia vulgaris for now. However, we also have growing in our garden an as yet unidentified Artemisia (other than as safe to consume) that I bought from a herb nursery as Artemisia argyi, which I am drying to smoke. This herb I also chew fresh leaves of, to connect more deeply with plants especially, and nature generally. She to me is 'Cronewort'. Holds that 'Elderwoman' wisdom and creates a green lense, or filter. A gateway plant. Gentle but not to be messed with, as any feisty ol woman.

                                             
                                                               young Cronewort...

Her counterpart for me is Grandfather Sage (Salvia apiana), another Elder herb, originating on Turtle island (USA), known for his use as smudge. This herb cleans, clearing away negative or stagnant energy when burnt, his smoke curling around to where it's needed. I call on Grandfather Sage's assistance, when making offerings to spirits / ancestors of a place, or creating sacred space. He brings tools and folk into these realms for ceremony.

I smudge our home. I also draw a boundary around The Nook that says 'safe space' or 'sanctuary' in energetic language, by setting wards. This involves reactivating a visualised stone circle that sits upon the borders of our property, with Reiki symbols (I know, a bit flakey you may say, but hey it works), and pentacles that run the width of our roof and front door.

These practices are part of my journey of Recovery. As my connection to them deepens, what may sound like a simple process, gains potency and becomes more vivid. Affirming connection to the world of Spirit, whilst having Nature as a constant companion to earth these experiences in body.
So, these are some of the ways I find myself calling upon at the moment, taking one or several at a time out of my Medicine pouch, to work with and enjoy. 

Resources:

'Animal-Speak: The Spiritual and Magical Powers of Creatures Great and Small.' by Ted Andrews. Llewelyn Publications. 1998.

'Animal Dreaming: the symbolic and spiritual language of the Australasian animals.' by Scott Alexander King. Blue Angel Gallery 2007.

Odette Nightsky and her lineage of Contemporary Shamanism:
https://www.contemporaryshaman.net/

Removing a psych med from my Medicine pouch....

 

Travelling the roads of this life has seen me carry in my medicine pouch, amongst the herbs, stones, fur, bones and feathers... psychiatric medications. If you judge this, feel free, at times I do the same! The medical model has only been the dominant paradigm in Western culture for some hundred years or more. It has at times assumed it alone is the most well aligned, yet healing wise folks have been working with peoples distress through time and place, using many strategies around the way one lives on planet Earth. In my current journey to taper off one med, a benzodiazepine family drug, originally prescribed for panic attacks I'm calling out deep to all kinds of resources, including herbal allies.

I'm naming the feelings I'm getting in my body as I taper down, 'restlessness'. A restlessness which is at its worst for the first days, being neither comfortable nor easy. I'm walking. When the adrenaline begins to rise, so do my feet. We're lucky enough to dwell near bush and beach, where I can put one foot in front of the other amidst nature for a goodly span of time with relative ease. Often when I begin there's a lot going on with my thoughts as well as in my body (surprise, surprise!). If I can keep moving, generally they reach a still or quiet point. As a counter to their content I may offer prayers, blessings and slightly out of tune song, honouring the landscape that supports me in its beauty, and my own  reemerging voice.

At times I may have a moment and need to do a couple of round the blocks, or blockies to shift through it. Also we're swimming in the ocean, and I'm practicing tai chi. I'm lucky enough to be with a wonderfully supportive partner, something I have great appreciation for, and which I hadn't forseen happening a few years back. Doing this work is hard enough, gather your Kin in spirit and flesh and let them in on this.

"Many people report having to "re-learn" how to cope with difficult emotions when they come off psychiatric drugs."

                     from Harm Reduction Guide (see Resources)

  

Thing is about these processes, we may have previously been forced, or even from a place of empathy been advised, without full understanding, to suppress symptoms to ease our intense distress, but when we have then been on and reduce pharmaceuticals, it rises up and comes back to haunt us. This can suck, and also be dangerous.  I am working with a psychiatrist, and my Gp, on doseage issues and timing so far.

  

Working with the herbs as a deeply embedded part of our lifestyle, wildcrafting or growing, and making medicine from them, is a reclamation of our mental, indeed whole health, as we learn to take back our power and how to nourish different states with their help. These plants are beings of compassionate and giving natures when treated with respect. Their assistance can ease distress states and form a bridge to the natural world, a world feeling as much suffering and new growth as we are.

Motherwort (Leonuris cardiaca) who I met, grew, and tinctured, several years ago, has become an indispensable ally to turn to in this process. Having a cup or two of Motherwort allows me to feel 'held' in her soothing embrace, but like her flowers as they mature there is also maternal protectiveness. I am drinking 3 or 4 small teapots a day, using 2 teaspoons of dried herb brewed for 10-15 minutes.

  

Her fresh plant tincture is great for a quick response to anxiety or panic, however I find I'm calling more on the dried herb tea. It feels like she is building up my reserves of resilience whilst also answering the call of that restlessness in my body with a responsive calming effect. I now find her somewhat bitter taste goes down just fine, as I know the ease she will bring.

                                                             young Motherwort plant.....

  

I am also currently connecting with Rose, in particular at this time, Rosa centifolia. The tincture of which I made (gleefully) from a stash of dried pink petals, when I read words from herbalist Kiva Rose saying that this is how to bring out her best qualities in this form of medicine. I find her gentle but potent touch, good heart chakra healing for depression or grief, and having a flower essence like energy. I feel she works to help heal past wounding and scar tissue that may be triggered in the now, whilst encouraging one to 'take heart' or find courage. I have been taking 5 drops twice a day.

  

Then there are nourishing herbal infusions a la Susun Weed. Nettle (Urtica dioica)and Oat straw (Avena sativa) mostly, as they both nourish the nervous system. Nettle brings me right home to the present earthy moment, whilst giving minerals to nourish the nervous system. Oatstraw, and oats, strengthen the nerves, soothing frazzled edges. I'd had a pause in these but have picked up the thread again, and a couple of 2 litre canning jars to prepare the brews.

Just as the exercise and herbs combine in a beautiful way to build up resilience, empowerment and allow nourishing through some of the states I am experiencing, spiritual practices I am engaging with are deepening.

As we reduce medications, we need to simultaneously build up the contents of our medicine pouch. I hope this process will give me ways to continue tapering the pharmaceuticals, yes, but in the process and perhaps more importantly, recover more aliveness....

  

Resources:

'Ease your Mind: Herbs for Mental Health' by Janet Kent

 available for $US5 post paid from Medicine County Herbs, 2014.

 http://www.medicinecountyherbs.com/

  

The Ashton Manual

https://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/

The Harm Reduction Guide to Coming Off Psychiatric Drugs

Published by The Icarus Project and Freedom Centre,

http://www.willhall.net/files/ComingOffPsychDrugsHarmReductGuide2Edonline.pdf

Cailleachs touch.....

As the weather cools down, the (three bar electric) hearth fire is lit and I began to turn my thoughts to the season of Cailleach Bheur approaching. Dear one, wild one. Cailleach, for me, is a wise woman in the way of herbs, a teacher of what lies at the edges being embraced into the core.
 It had started when I was decanting Calendula oil a couple of days ago, watching the gorgeous golden liquid running between my fingers, pouring it over a fresh batch of whole flowers. I was getting my potions on and having a lovely ol time. Cailleach was leaning over my shoulder, merrily cackling, chuckling and enjoying the vibe generally.

Then she led me to contemplate the multiple aspects of woman, as reflected in the seasons of life so that last night I roughed out this sketch in the company of midnight, a slumbering partner and observing but restful cat. A double blessing as my creative juices had been somewhat constipated of late. Twas a right treat to be drawing in the wee hours again, as I opened a fresh sketchbook gifted me by my beloved and dove in.

Smudging Sage and healing family trauma....

Lets be honest here, I'm a handmade herbalist, home brewed.

When I was first held a bag of 'Grandfather' Sage in my own two hands, Id like to say I knew before me was a being who could make shifts, but I'm also pigheaded, and I was abused as a child by my Grandfather, so well the name didn't really impress. Yet I'd heard he was a good space clearer, and well the feng shui at my place read congested n clogged, so I bought a small bag of loose leaves to burn as incense. Upon lighting the leaves the smoke curled into nooks n crannies, and indeed the feel was better. The translucent tendrils seemed to know just where to go as I walked through the rooms, and it wasn't necessarily towards the nearest open window, somewhat surprisingly.

Later I went to a two day workshop on skin care with local herbalist and generous teacher Sharn. We made a spritzer, my co-maker and I using some Grandfather Sage essential oil. A treat cos Sharn had some of the rather special oil (I know it can be considered blasphemy using essential oils, but the scent, earthy!). When I sprayed some of it for a friend who works shamanically with clients she asked if I could make her one, and i wondered, or rather half mused, if I could. Hhhmmm...

Time passed. I returned to Grandfather Sage for his assistance in clearing and began to dip my toe in with his reputation for making space sacred. It was a little strangely fit for such a woman centred woman, but I went with the flow.
I burned a few dried leaves before journeying, lighting a candle, and gathering objects close to my heart nearby, as I lay down to close my eyes.

I grew two plants, the resinous nature of the fresh leaves is amazing first hand, the silvery leaves almost sticky to the touch at times, potency apparent, growing in sand.

Now my Grandfather had a reputation too, in our family, that was apart from the witty mad science teacher who blew the end off his finger demonstrating jet propulsion, with a homemade rocket, to his students, but I didn't hear of that for some time. It was a story pieced together through self protective denial and shame within our family. Some years after I first spoke up about the feeling I had that he had abused both me, and his daughter.

This isn't easy for me to write about, but I do it to illustrate how deeply the healing powers of plants, especially in combination with other modalities, can touch.

Now it came to the point when i wished to contact the source of those bags I was purchasing in the shop. When I contacted him he was just 'happening' to be on his way to our area with his wares. Michael was a genuine plant dude and devoted to his ally. I decided to invest in some essential oil, hydrosol and a bigger bag of those dried leaves. I was brewing up an idea to make an infused oil to create a salve, portable sacred space maker.

Whilst working with the local Community Mental Health team, with my trusty pagan Case manager, I was being supported by Contemporary Shaman, Odette, to work with spirit in retrieving soul fragments, lost to my Grandfathers actions.
Work I couldn't have done alone. Safe friendship and mentoring allowed it to occur.
It was not easy, but in the end I saw him as a small boy, daggy pulled up socks, bowl haircut n all. Being hit by his very Victorian and strict mother and screaming 'nooooo!'.
In turn there was her tragedy of losing her parents at a young age.
Intergenerational trauma.

This journey shifted my feelings, towards the herb called Grandfather and all that the name had evoked.

When my dear Dad, was dying, this work enabled me to speak to him of his father, whom he knew he was going to meet, from a place of forgiveness rather than the rage that had previously existed within me towards my Grandfather (and indeed my family). My Dad deserved that peace of mind for his journey to the other side. The ease I was able to offer is a bittersweet memory.

Now times a little jumbled up in this at times loaded tale, the orders a bit disordered, but it builds the aspects up nevertheless. So you'll excuse my brain and hearts ways if they ramble.

We now move back to those bigger baggies of dried leaves and I indeed did infuse them in oil and make Smudging Sage Salve. Recently a dear sister put my quiet Salves on her face book page and I had a surge of visitors to my little medicine nook. In fact, I have more leaves I'm yet to infuse,so the journey with Grandfather Sage continues.

The gifts of Grandfather Sage are metaphorical, but also, I believe, real.
As both a smudge and in salve form.
He has bufferrd sensitivity to the overwhelming stimulus that can result from trips into town, or other busy places. Practically, creating the touch of being watched over by a wise Elder.
He has allowed me to clear built up stagnant energy from my aura and HQ repeatedly as I worked with my healing journey, sacred tools and activities. That included assisting lost spirits or beings to let go and move on from my aura. Also as an ally in cutting energetic chords that bind, which no longer served, or needed a clean break to begin fresh. He has carried both my prayers to Spirit, and my desires for setting intentions, on the breeze....

Nowadays, I have a plant Grandfather, who has walked beside me. Just as my paternal Grandfather would have, could he have wholly been the man I believe he wanted to be, had it not been for the effects of the war he served in.....

Resources and Links:
Sharn at Byron Botanicals http://byronbotanicals.com.au/
Michael at Australian Alpine 'Grandfather' White Sage
http://sagedreaming.com.au/
Odette at Contemporary Shaman https://www.contemporaryshaman.net/
Vicki at Sacred Skins and Medicine Things https://www.facebook.com/Vicki-Liddell-Sacred-Skins-and-Medicine-Things-190659384298635/