Showing posts with label Recovery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Recovery. Show all posts

Sunday, August 19, 2018

Logo's, eclipses and self care....

I'm in the process of designing a new logo slash labels for my herbal makings, and it's been a time of reassessing. Who am I kidding, I'm always reassessing, I have little choice! Ha! However, attempting to simplify essences of your tangent, with enough detail to include what's important, whilst being able to fit on a 30mL dropper bottle, can be tricky. Although, the recent series of eclipses seem to be aiding in the honing down!

I wanted to write about nourishment, gentleness and self care in such times. These may seem like obvious traits for any apprentice to the green folk. Yup, that's the textbook version. It's an indicator, when you haven't showered for days, or attended to self care. I've experienced this in times of peak mental health challenge, if you, or someone you love, have too, know you're not alone.....

That being said, by goddess when you can pull it out of the bag to do what's kind, it's both a good feeling, and waving flag! If I am making a herbal infusion before bedtime in prep to drink the next day, or a cuppa specific to whats going on, making medicines with the moon, remembering to reach out to my spirit kin, smudging our home, getting dirt between my toes in the garden...well, the stars (at times despite them) and my self care, are aligning. We all have these signs, different and diverse. Yay!

Fish in rivers rarely swim against the currents to the point of exhaustion. Ok spawning Salmon are an impressive exception, lucky for our Bear cousins. Most finned ones however, rest in the eddies and pools, periodically retreating as they navigate their waterways. For those of us who live, play and work with underlying distress, allowing for this with gentility is a gifting.

Internalised stigma can have one flagellating about the fact I'm utilising pretty full on pharmacetical support. In my dream world, I would be wholey managing my life with love, herbs, music, spirit connections, fresh air and good food. Skip de skip, tra la la! Clean and pure, aarggh watch out for that type of language! Just ain't my reality, yet. I'm emphasising the YET folks, not the pure bit, not interested, mayhaps the clean, and all for the skipping ;).

Growth, and indeed healing, take time. She says who goes out each morning to check if those seeds she planted are flowering yet! Anyone who says otherwise is selling something, which is ok, as long as there's honesty there. It takes about 15-20 minutes for a benzodiazepine medication to kick in during a panic attack, I find Motherwort tincture, tea and support, about the same, BUT getting off benzo's can take years. Therein lies the catch. Rebuilding wholth and integration, especially after experiencing trauma, can be slow. This is basically the best of what pharmaceuticals are allowing the space to do.

I don't get the stuff about the science of altered receptors in the brain, and the truth is the drug companies don't either really! However, I do gel with the fact that these are mind altering substances, which suppress and change us. Everything we imbibe through our senses, and body, does!

Whilst at times for various reasons I have been forced to take these meds, they have at times been useful tools to help my situation. In the same breath, I try to work with reclaiming and exploring other ways to nourish, I believe these tangents can co exist, and be in process. That's what I live, and want to share with my story....

So I will continue to sketch my designs, journey, experiment with cheap, accessible ways to make food n medicine, and I'm enrolling at Tafe to take a course in anatomy and physiology. To get there I catch the bus for 40 minutes, with my trusty spirit kin Moraig at my side. They may not sound like big career moves, ain't, but they are some of my wee steps of reclamation. What are yours?

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Vasalisa and Baba Yaga 4/3/2016

This artwork came from an art and storytelling influeneced workshop where a version of the Russian tale of Vasalisa the brave and Baba Yaga, the mortar and pestle flying in witchy poo, was told, with gusto and edge of your seat skill. This image is, of course, rooted in my own interpretations. Some say in stories, the characters are aspects of self, the teller, or perhaps the listener, who's to say? Creativity is simialr mayhaps whatever the form, this is my version...

Vasalisa loses her mother, traditionally she dies, and weaves all her wisdom and love into a Doll which she gifts Vasalisa from her deathbed, requesting only that she feed her. A vessel or container of guidance from the nurturing feminine, who loves us, and wants the best for us. Handy eh. Couldnt we all do with some of that? Don't we all contain a little of that if we can simply (yeah easy) conjure it into being. One could ask what rituals or practices do this for self, or feed this...

Of course on her mothers passing, Vasalisa's father remarries in poor judgement, tis the way o things, resulting in a stepmother and sisters who treat her like personal shit kicker to them. Do this, do that, clean this, and she does so with pure heart (oh da polarities!). Meanwhile gaining consolation from the realm of the Doll's magic imbued with the energies of her maternal lineage. This eats at the (always) wicked step women.

Now another version of the wicked woman is the old witch, the Crone lets say. Traced from time immemorial the Wise Womans become the scary one with the advent of botox, consumerism and a few other faintly dogmatic belief systems used to justify mass murder. So back to the Crone, who's now become the pop you in the oven n gobble you up version of the woods dwelling solitudinal aka time for nature listening healer. (I warned you this was my interpretation!) Goddamn she should settle down and behave in a more respectable out of the way manner. One that has less to do with her heart chakra and more to do with bowing and scraping. Less eccentricity more conformity. That's not to say, however, that some older women aint scarey, or tough as. I caught the bus with two of them this morning.

So, one set of wicked women hear that the other one, the Crone, is in town, or clearing in the woods rather. That her chicken legged cottage, (eggs being fertility symbols of birth and beginnings tabootsky), which can move about has landed nigh. They decide a fab way to get rid of Vasalisa goody two shoes boring shmoring exwife child is to put out all the household fires and send her to Baba Yaga for replacements, sure she'll never return. Hence thats exactly what they do....

BUT, and don't you love BUTS...

As Vasalisa sets out scared out of her wits, in distress at entering said dark scarey forest, where wolves dwell, trolls, ghosts, ghoulies etc ol witchs, all those beings (slash aspects) that jump or creep up from behind to knock us into places of no returning to sanity or safety ever again. You know the places, we all have them, its just a matter of degree. She is carrying her trusty Doll, come Guide, Ally, Mentor, Peer. Therapist I hear you say, yes, possibly, although I hope your not making any assumptions! Spirit Kin, Mates. The part of life that shes nourished by paying attention to it, what else is feeding? Giving of energy, sharing. It leads her straight to Baba Yaga's door, bugger that Therapist, Practitioner, Friend, Trigger, Emotion, Lover, we say at this point. Past the skeletal fence with eyes a glow and straight on into the lair/ cosy home. Every half decent ol witch has an excellent lair / cosy home, which maybe her sleeping bag, or blanket, under a bus shelter and a pack of rollies. Just watch the pneumonia.

Im taking a long time to tell this tale, but basically Baba Yaga sets a series of imposssible and eeevvvil tasks like sorting wee Poppy seeds from a massive pile of black soil, and the Doll (inner Shamanka) assists her in doing the impossible. Having a life! Ooops, I mean, doing the sortings, cleanings (more) and weavings of straw into gold and such. Think I may have just blended another story in there somewhat. So in the end Baba Yaga goes 'Oh alright girly I shan't eat you after all, bugger it, Ill give you fire, so your peoples wont freeze to death or starve (which they are currently doing cos' Russia and Siberia get pretty chilly, something their wicked stepnesses didn't foresee in their planning or lack thereof).

So preparing to thank this frightening being, she stops as her Doll has jumped up and down in her pocket, 'Just get outta here' says she. So Vasalisa the brave, fair or wise, depending on which aspect the teller likes best, gets outta there and returns to the uncosy home. Making her ways through the woods led this time by the eerie lights of a skeletons head whos eyes are embers a glowing. The stepnesses are pretty cold and hungry by now, and hence pleased to see Vasalisa, who lights the fire and places the skull in the corner of the room. From whence it watchs. Watchs, looking, looking, at the usual dynamics.

What I enjoyed about the version we were told is that there were multiple endings, only one of which saw the stepnesses burnt to cinders by the skull. Theres enough of that goes on in the world. The endings I liked is where the stepnesses behaviour was changed by the process, or didnt but Vasalisa no longer cared. For she has faced the Crone, dark forest, trolls, ghosts, suchness (within and without) and lived.

I know this is a blog about plants and pencils, but also it is about Recovery, as was the workshop I attended. A word I will here spell with a capital R, because its important.
The specific word used will probably change in coming times (everything will), but the vibe is what counts. It counts because it is a vibe that describes our way/s through. Gardener, warrior, chef, artist, maker, healer, bush regenerator, taxi driver, crafter, cleaner, dish washer, academic, psychologist, Crone heh heh, poet, storyteller, social worker, peer support worker, apprentice, winemaker, farmer, grower, student, teacher, actor, ecologist, walker, journalist, meditator, shamanka, case manager, the possabilities are endless. Thats the point....
Its just there's a few Baba Yaga's n forebidding forests we needs be learn to navigate through along the way.

BUT, and don't you just love BUTS
there's a Doll in our pockets, if we can remember to feed her....
with our ways through...
By the by, its not always shes and hers, for the brothers who also walk this path....

Thanks...

Linkages:
Jenny Cargill-Strong http://www.storytree.com.au/